k’s QOTD: On Poly-Archie


me: “…of course i believe in polyamory. i grew up reading archie comics.”

she: “……”


a mini conversation: flying time.

flying clock

“it’s a bird! it’s a plane! no! it’s the rest of your life!”

me: …that means its two days before mercury retrograde is over

she:  mercury is forever in retrograde. it seems like there are only 10 days in the year when it’s NOT in retro and they have the nerve to be scattered throughout the calendar.
I blame my life on Mercury retrograding.
Spilled coffee? Mercury retrograding.
Getting a divorce? Mercury retrograding.
National disasters? Mercury retrograding.
me:  basically! every time you turn around its like:
“dont make any plans!”

she: why do the days drag so? like this whole week?

me: right now my day is hovering.

im eating

im waiting

and im thinking

i could do x y z with my day

OR i could let it fall to the wayside

looking up after reading just one more gossip blog entry and somehow that will be the rest of my life.

she: chile

me: and then oh shit its 5pm?
so that means im exhausted from sitting in this chair all day and have burned off my breakfast that i ate 4 hours ago by furioiusly scrolling thru all my bookmarked tumblr pages?

she:  lol

me: how is this my life?

she: Mercury retrograding.

me: foolish question

dear ironic hipster beard,

(aka “the brooklyn beard”)

you know who you are. and you know you are itchy.


that’s not ironic.

that’s gross.

you’ve got 70’s porn crotch on your face.

if you insist on coming into the bars with intentions of scoring some vagina (in your laconic, bored w everything hipster sort of way) it may behoove you to not arrive already wearing one on your chin.

just a thought.

furthermore, pls. take a shower.

thank you,


(am i the only one who hates seeing someone who looks like their ex everytime they go out?)