I want to take a self-improvement course with Lisa Bonet as life coach. Anybody who has been wedded to or life-partnered by both Lenny Kravitz AND Jason Momoa needs to teach a class.
Anybody who has been wedded to or life-partnered by both Lenny AND Jason and can have them both whipped hypnotized blasted on peyote or some other natural yet eclectic hallucinogenic on good terms off the strength of her abilty to make any scenario in which she is involved infintely cooler needs to teach a class, write two books with diagrams and quizzes and have a motivational speaking tour.
She’s bohemian, creative, mysterious, independent and gorgeous — all the top things that I had on my ‘when i grow up list’. Controversally (at the time) nude in a film as opposed to the more popular and timely naked on the internets via cameraphone, she’s famous for the body of work that she’s done and not for getting out of limos with no panties on unlike so many other actresses who grew up on camera. Not that I am assuming that shes never participated in ‘crazy hollywood’ behavior. She’s just better at keeping it underwraps. Managing how to do that could be a class on its own.
When she randomly pops up in some big buget movie or prime time TV show its like a blip. Its like peripherally seeing a ghost. You say- “hey wasn’t that-?” but then she’s gone before you can finish the sentence.
She was everyone’s favorite Huxtable kid. And A Different World lost more than a little when she left. Whitley Gilbert was not an acceptable stand in, IMO.
(sidenote: You can just tell Whitley Gilbert was like a third generation Jack &Jill kid. Does that make me jealous? A little bit.)
(sidenote: I’m wearing the skirt she has on right now.)
Anyway, this How To Win At Life class would probably be taught somewhere kind of like the Learning Annex, keeping it accessable because Professor Bonet/Moon (in my head) seems like the kind of person that would want to empower the masses. There would be field trips to visit practicing shamans and to planetariums and to local artisans who would give a lesson on how to make our own hand tooled (vegan) leather knapsacks and jewellry.
Vanessa Paredis would be a guest lecturer. Angelina Jolie would come too, but she’s in a helicopter working on the syllabus for her own class next semester.
When I was just a lower case k, we used to play the Lets Pretend to be Characters from that Popular TV Show game. When we played Brady Bunch I had to be Jan. If we were playing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles I had to be Irma. And that tells you everything you need to know about me as a kid. I understood my role in society and in the afterschool game hierarchy.I accepted it. But if it was The Cosby Show day it was game ON. I didn’t care who I was in life currently I was practicing for who I was going to be.
And technically, I was more a ‘Rudy’ (precocious, borderline annoying, youngest sibling that the older kids alternately ingored, treated like a pet, or tried to force feed non-food objects) than a ‘Denise’ (bohemian helion whose parents knew was smoking weed upstairs but were too tired from life to ask about it). And as I grew, I became more of a ‘Vanessa’ type teen (awkwardly trying to emmulate what they saw the older kids doing before they all took off for places unknown like ‘college’ or ‘overseas’ or ‘band roadie’ but was about seven-to-ten years too late. Like a Deadhead anytime after… well, ever.)
Happily, I’ve gotten my life more evened out now. I think I’ve come into my own a little bit more from thinking asymmetrical haircuts were cool, (technically seven years too early). I’m doing my own thing. But I truly think my life would benefit- the world would benefit from a signed copy of the take home manual and audio lecture on CD.